I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
