so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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