it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
