btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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