hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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