NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Never underestimate the power of titties
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
