I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
