i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
