Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
