Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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