I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
