Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
