Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
