brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
