your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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