Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
