I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
