He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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