i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize