He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
