phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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