Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
