I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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