No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
