I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
