I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
