the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
