can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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