My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
