She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
