got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
