ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
