is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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