Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
