i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
