Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
