well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
