just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
