about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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