i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize