i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
NoShamevember. You game?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
