No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize