I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
