Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
