I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
