Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
