Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
