I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
