don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
