mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
