He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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