I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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