did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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