Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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