then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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