I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
