cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
