I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
