it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize