I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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