we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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