Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
