just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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