I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize