Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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