My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
