I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
